Epiphany

Master of the Antwerp Adoration - Epiphany. Source Wikimedia

Epiphany that Changed my Life

How I would love to have an epiphany that changed my life. For example, I could wake up one morning to the realisation that I have great, unrealised talent as a trombone player. I could sally forth, buy the most expensive trombone, and prepare for a career in the orchestra.

One type of epiphany involves self-realisation. I would suddenly see how my brusque exterior limits my social success. I could immediately adopt a permanent smile, even a grin, or go around hugging everyone and calling them my great friend. From the emptiness of the lonely cupboard, admirers would suddenly crowd around.

Epiphanies of this sort change one’s life for the better. But negative epiphanies can occur which cause harm. You may suddenly become aware that the whole world hates you. You become restive and reclusive, seeking solace in a bar in Phuket. It is best to avoid negative epiphanies.

I search my past life for a personal epiphany, and am disappointed not to find any. I know I am not a good trombone player. The nearest I can get to an epiphany is a realisation that gradually grew on me. When I was young, I thought I was the only one who could recognise a pretty girl, but it gradually dawned on me that everyone could see her as pretty. But further than this, I became aware that the girl herself had a clear idea of her own beauty. That was a momentous realisation, but not an epiphany.

A similar awareness I recall was again, as a youngster, I imagined all girls liked football players and beefy, athletic chaps. It wasn’t until I saw girls attracted to a doctor friend of mine that it dawned on me that there were alternative sources of attraction.

You can see I am wracking my brain to find anything close to being an epiphany. Becoming aware of one’s foolishness is not so much an epiphany as a slow realisation that comes with older age and draws inspiration from reflecting on the many mistakes made over a lifetime.

Some people have glorious religious epiphanies, their new connection to God bringing them succour and mental peace. Others fall the other way. They see the cruelties and flaws of human beings and discard all belief in a beneficent almighty.

I have had no religious epiphany, although I wouldn’t mind having one. I could marvel at a mirage of an angel beckoning to me.

I regularly take my young daughter to the cathedral and sit in the children’s area as she draws and cuts paper toys out with scissors. In this way, I have one foot in and one foot out; I am present at the service but not involved in it. No epiphanies there, but I think it is good for my girl to absorb the atmosphere, and she likes being there. Maybe it will provide her with grounds for a religious epiphany one day. Alternatively, it may prompt her to take up the trombone.