REJECTION

My first job was with a major manufacturing company. The company canteen had two lunch shifts: twelve and one. I usually chose the one o’clock shift, but I was extra hungry that day, so I went to lunch at 12 o’clock. A girl there struck me like a bombshell. She had short blond hair and a long neck and held her pretty head high like a ballerina.

It was clear I would need to have lunch at 12 o'clock from now on. I gathered enough courage to sit at her table. Her name was Pauline. I told her I was new at the company and had done well at university, even getting distinctions. She asked me what they were. I told her they were marks for being brilliant. She didn’t laugh, so I tried a few more jokes. Something must have been wrong because she didn’t laugh at all.

The next time I saw her, I asked her to come to the beach.  She said OK. I would show her how good I was at swimming. I swam out to the buoy. By the time I got to it, I was gasping; it’s a long way. Due to the side current, I staggered to shore about three hundred yards down the beach. I stumbled back towards her but decided it would be impressive to jog; it nearly killed me.

‘I’m back’ I said. She woke up. ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Have you been swimming?’

Pauline told me she liked Whitney Houston. I searched in the shops and found a rare Whitney Houston CD. Next day in the canteen I sat at Pauline’s table and gave her the CD. She looked at it and said she already had it. She left it on the table with the dirty plates.

The following week, I invited her to watch me play football. She said she might come. I had already kicked a couple of goals when I saw her with a friend watching the game. I decided taking a mark against their tall ruckman would look good; he knocked me sideways. I fell heavily on my elbow. It hurt like hell. I didn’t want her to see me writhing in the mud, so I played on valiantly – but noticed she had gone.

I invited her to a restaurant the following week. When we arrived, her friend Wendy was with George Milroy from accounts. We joined them. Pauline kept talking to Wendy. Wendy said she had brought new underwear. I wanted to listen but couldn’t because George kept babbling about his new computerised debtor's ledgers. Pauline fell asleep in the car on the way home. When we arrived at her house, I tapped her on the shoulder and was about to kiss her. When she opened her eyes and saw me looming over her, she screamed and leapt out of the car.

I gave up after that. She was not interested. At lunch, two weeks later, I saw a new girl, Sasha. I started talking to her. I was talking to her again the next day when I felt the chair beside me move, and Pauline sat down.

‘Playing footy next Saturday?’ she asked.

‘Yup.’ I said

‘I might come to watch you,’ she said. ‘After the game, we might go to the pub by the river.’

Wow. Pauline was asking me out.

Sasha smiled at me. I think she understood the situation. Women are good at reading these things.