The Word 'Angst'
Angst is a word that has no place in the vocabulary. It is neither east nor west. It hovers indiscriminantly over us, but it’s too weak to pounce. I don’t hate the word angst; it's just that it is like a shy maiden aunt, sneaky, peeping around the door, begging to be let in.
Aunt Agatha’s name is Agatha East. Everyone shortens it and calls her Angst. She hates it. Her brother Fred East is known as Feast.
Agatha wanted to change her name to Beatrice, but realised she would be called Beast.
Uncle Fred felt angst when he fell off the ladder and broke his hip. They had to insert a replacement hip. Agatha felt angst that they would never make love again. But Fred recovered quickly. However, that led to further angst. She couldn’t enjoy lovemaking because for months, when they made love, his hips made a distracting clicking sound.
Some words slip off the tongue. Exhibition, fatality, fulsome, they all have rhythm. You can feel the meat inside them. All you get with angst is flab. The word Angst has no meat. If angst fell into a pond, it would sink without a struggle. In contrast, meaty words like perfume, caterpillar, and conciliation would fight their way to the bank and climb out.
I can imagine angst eating a crumb off the floor, then scurrying off under the sofa.
Anxious is a popular word with a similar meaning to angst. People the world over prefer the word anxiety. It has a smoother flow and a better coordination of letters. You feel sorry for someone who is anxious, but no sympathy for someone who is experiencing angst. Anxiety is external, worrying about the kids coming home late. But angst is internal and self-serving.
In general, people avoid the word angst; it is reserved for literary novels. Saying angst is too much trouble; it gets blocked in the throat. Plus, no one knows precisely what you mean; the word angst elicits a general impression only. When someone says they suffer angst, we hover, are alarmed, shuffle our feet, and change the subject. The type of people who use angst are lost in the run-of-the-mill society. They are misfits. They use words like 'solipsism' and 'importune' and drink green tea. My grandfather once used the word angst. It caused the canary to stagger off its perch.
Angst has a terrible clump of letters: n, g, s, t. It needs breaking up. Against is similar to angst, but it's more popular and used more frequently. Today, it is the fashion to be against. The news is full of people who are against. The difference between angst and against is the ai in against, which provides a breather. AI is the redeemer.
Australians love to shorten words. We shorten names, Maggie, Don, Dave. We shorten place names like The Gabba. But when it comes to angst, we panic and, by mistake, lengthen it, seeking respite in longer, more colourful language. Instead of angst, we say the traffic was a nightmare, shopping at Christmas stresses me out, the crowd at the footy was horrendous. Using these longer phrases, we escape.
However hard it tries to hold us in its clutches, we determinedly avoid the grip of Angst.
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